So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Adieu

Hello again, my fellow movie fanatics. I write today with unfortunate news. Having just completed my first week back at college, it's pretty apparent that this blog is going to be slowing down for a good couple months. Don't worry, this isn't goodbye forever; there's always next summer, and winter break. Who knows? I may even manage a brief post or two in between reading a bunch of names I could never hope to pronounce in my Russian history book, and my hours locked up in the graphics lab.

Before I sign off though, I wanted to publicize Rain of Madness, the new Tropic Thunder mockumentary. Made by fictional filmmaker Jan Jürgen (played by one of the summer hit's co-writers, Justin Theroux), it gives us a hilarious behind-the-scenes look at the satirical movie-within-a-movie. There's a discussion of PPDD (Post Platoon Distress Disorder - even Robin Williams has suffered it), Brookyln's breakout ad for erectile dysfunction, some inspired script rewrites by Tugg Speedman and, best of all, more of Kirk Lazarus getting into character.

Not only does Rain of Madness offer 30 minutes of sheer brilliance, it's FREE. Seriously, what have you got to lose? (If, however, you need more convincing, check out the official website here. There's tons of clips and diary entries from Jan, as well as links to the fictional actors' official sites. Their latest movie trailers - including, yes, Satan's Alley - are promised soon.)

I hope the hilarity of Rain of Madness makes up for my absence (along with pseudo-rhymes). You guys have nothing to worry about though, because really, we're like Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally or West Side Story's Tony and Maria. Ultimately, nothing - bad timing, parents, gang violence, mutual hatred - can keep us apart.

Coming Soon to a Computer Near You

YouTube has given us so much in just a few years. Chocolate Rain. Potter Puppet Pals. Learn to Speak Body, Volume 5.

One of my most recently discovered YouTube treasures is recut movie trailers. Ever wonder what The Silence of the Lambs would be like as a romantic comedy (and honestly who hasn't?) or Toy Story as a horror movie? The great people on YouTube have already done it for you - edits, music, voiceover and all. Sure, some users go a little too crazy with the text/graphics, but it's not hard to find some absolute masterpieces.

A few of these reimagined films just need to be shared with the world, so I've gathered 5 of YouTube's best recuts for your viewing pleasure. I pre-apologize if I instill an irrational fear of any childhood icons, or a newfound fondness for certain cinematic psychopaths.

1. Mary Poppins

This was one of the first recuts I watched, and is still one of the best I've seen. (I have to give credit to my friend and Scene It? rival Adam for showing me it.) Making Mary Poppins, or just Julie Andrews, scary is not easy. Yet I'm terrified of that ever-cheerful woman each time I watch this. Really makes you wonder what else she was hiding in that bottomless bag of hers...

2. The Shining

Credit must also go to Adam for finding this fake trailer. In it, we see Stanley Kubrick's sadly unrealized potential in romantic comedies. Whoever made this has a gift, because he or she managed to turn some of the movie's creepiest scenes into cute, harmless family moments. (Be sure to watch who Jack Nicholson is kissing.) The song selection of "Solsbury Hill" by Peter Gabriel is also excellent, even if that man's continued presence in romantic comedies has always puzzled me. I mean, it's only his music cropping up in John Cusack movies, but he's pretty strange. (Exhibit A)

Sorry for the random tangent. Here you go.

3. Sleepless in Seattle

A lonely single woman tries desperately to contact a widower after merely hearing his son speak on a radio show. Sounds like the perfect set-up to a stalker thriller, right? That's what the maker(s) of this video thought, even if most people saw it as one of the greatest romances of all time. Here, Meg Ryan, the essential romantic comedy heroine, has eerily morphed into Glenn Close, circa Fatal Attraction. Tom Hanks already had reason to be scared (I know I'd be a little wary of her often irritating "charm"), but in this context, he oughta be running for his life to the nearest Zoltar machine, deserted island or Polar Express train.

4. Taxi Driver
Like The Shining's Jack Torrance, Travis Bickle is not the most well-adjusted guy. While that might be the understatement of the century, it's worth noting because, through the wonders of this recut's editing, he appears to be the Prince Charming of Manhattan. I mean, just look at that freeze frame! Also like my previous pick, this trailer features hysterical music choices and more cheerful readings of some of the film's darkest moments. Now if only they could've revamped Jodie Foster as the couple's wild, yet endearing, foster child...

5. The Big Lebowski

The Big Lebowski doesn't have much of a middle ground: most people love its quirky humor or hate its downright bizarre story. But we can probably all agree that it's a little out there. It's all the more impressive, then, that someone made it into a surprisingly convincing tearjerker trailer (and with a brief appearance by John Turturro's Jesus Quintana, nonetheless). I will warn anyone who has yet to see the movie that there's a bit of a spoiler, but for those that have seen it (or could care less about the story), enjoy:

If you're craving more, be sure to check out these fantastic recuts that just barely missed the list: The Usual Suspects, Dumb and Dumber, Office Space, Rain Man and The Matrix. Oh and don't forget the Toy Story and Silence of the Lambs trailers I mentioned in the intro.

And the Oscar Goes to...Really?

February 2009 is a long way away, but you wouldn’t know it from the crazy Oscar buzz already in full swing. Well, at least the Oscar buzz surrounding Christopher Nolan’s smash success The Dark Knight. The star of this media frenzy is of course Heath Ledger, aka the darkest, most demented Joker this side of Gotham City. Could he be the second actor in history to win a posthumous Academy Award? While his performance is certainly stunning, and slightly reminiscent of the only actor in history to achieve this honor (okay, Peter Finch’s character in Network isn’t exactly a psychotic, clown-faced criminal but the underlying more-sane-than-he-seems theme is apparent in both) it’s still pretty early to say. Any potential Best Picture, Director, Screenplay or general special effects nominations/wins are even tougher to call.

That definitely hasn’t stopped people from talking about it, though. Amidst this ceaseless conversation, many have raised once again the call for more “popular” movies to be included in the Academy Awards. However, what most people don’t seem to realize is that not only is popularity a huge factor in winning an Oscar, it usually doesn’t yield the best results.

To prove my point, let’s examine some past Best Picture winners. Last year, the seemingly anti-Hollywood Coen brothers triumphed with their dark thriller No Country for Old Men. The ironic thing is just how Hollywood this choice was. Many people, myself included, believed the smaller Paul Thomas Anderson drama There Will Be Blood deserved the title. But who really saw that? Not a lot of people, at least by Hollywood standards. While TWBB's $40.2 million domestic gross was probably more than was expected, it looks pretty shameful next to No Country's $74.3 million. And despite its glowing reviews (some even compared it to Citizen Kane and Giant), many were put off by the movie. Too weird, too confusing or too radical for the 2008 BP. As for the other nominees, Juno was too quirky to win (the Academy still needs to maintain its austere respectability), Atonement, despite being a critic darling, also underperformed at the box office (only $50.9 million) and Michael Clayton was seen by even less people (roughly $49 million). No County thus pleased the general public and critics, making it the safest choice for the Academy.

(For the record, I’m not saying No Country is without merit. Javier Bardem absolutely earned his Best Supporting Actor win, and the suspense was executed marvelously. But I gotta say it: that ending was awful. For a lesson on adapting a tricky book finale well, see Atonement.)

The year before that had almost the exact same set-up, with the Coen brothers’ older counterpart Martin Scorsese taking home the gold for The Departed, his most commercially successful movie ever. Now, I truly believe this win was justified, but why would the Academy finally wake up and give Marty an Oscar after snubbing him in favor of, among several others, Kevin freakin’ Costner? The answer’s simple: he finally made a bonafide crowd pleaser.

I’m sure the pattern’s already becoming apparent, so I’ll save my rant on how Crash isn’t half the movie Capote or Good Night, and Good Luck is. But I’ll bet a lot of you are thinking “Kristin, those movies that won were still pretty good. What’s the real harm?” Well, allow me to jump back a little over a decade. The year was 1997 and the movie was Titanic, the now current (albeit perhaps not for long) record holder for domestic gross. This epic love story walked away with a whopping 11 Academy Awards, a fact that countless people lament today. While I do think Titanic gets a tad bit more grief than it deserves, it’s impossible to argue that it was an 11 Oscars movie in retrospect. Yet Oscar critics constantly point to this embarrassment as the award show done right. Sure, it pulled in a much bigger audience than the Academy currently boasts, but at what cost?

Don’t go thinking Titanic was the only case of a popular yet less-than-Oscar-worthy movie to clean up at the Academy Awards, either. For more evidence, see Rocky (1976 BP winner; losing nominees include Taxi Driver and Network), Forrest Gump (1994 BP winner; losing nominees include Pulp Fiction and The Shawshank Redemption), Chicago (2002 BP winner; losing nominees include Gangs of New York and The Pianist), and Ghost (1990 Best Supporting Actress win for Whoopi Goldberg; losing nominees include Lorraine Bracco in Goodfellas), among many others. Oh and I discovered this gem in my research: Julia Roberts was nominated for an Academy Award for her groundbreaking work in Pretty Woman.

The Pulitzer people would never give James Patterson any serious consideration, despite his being one of the most wildly successful authors alive. So why do we constantly complain that the Academy is condescending and out-of-touch? The Oscars are already all about politics and popularity. If we push them any further, we may one day find ourselves yearning for the years when a sinking ship or an anorexic Renee Zellweger reigned supreme at the Academy Awards.

Audrey and Kate Plus...Cate

I have to say, it's good to be home and blogging once again. I could regale you with stories of France's insane The Dark Knight advertising (there was even a Dippin' Dots flavor) but I'll get right to the point: I have a long overdue promise to fulfill in the form of a favorite actresses post, and I'm here to make good on my word. The list is regrettably a bit shorter than my actors' post and for that I have to place some blame on the scarcity of interesting parts for women. (I'm not just being an indignant feminist: start thinking of some of the most memorable movie characters. Maybe 25% are women, am I right?) Those countless hack models posing as actresses haven't helped either (Jessica Alba, I'm looking in your direction). However, we can all take comfort in knowing that the movie world has/had these three wonderful women to help even out the imbalances.

1. Cate Blanchett
Sometimes I have to remind myself that Cate Blanchett is a mere human like the rest of us. She certainly seems like Wonder Woman when you consider her career. Conflicted teacher conducting an affair with a student? Check. Pregnant journalist amidst the sea's quirkiest crew? Check. One of the most legendary, revered actresses to ever live? Check. Bob Dylan? Check. I could go on forever, but the point is that, like a superhero, Cate makes impossible feats seem effortless and nothing's been able to stop her yet.

Perhaps the only thing as impressive as Cate's daunting talent is her amazing career savvy. While I can't say I've seen everything she's ever done, she's never been known to make a truly terrible movie. Heck, she even managed to get an Oscar nomination out of the supposedly weak Elizabeth: The Golden Age. On top of all of that, she's probably one of the most fearless actresses working today. A lot of women in the entertainment industry would shy away from taboo issues like inappropriate teacher-student relationships or think twice before seriously playing a man, but Cate thrives off these opportunities, giving us some of the most fascinating characters movies can offer.

I really wanted to avoid posting the following clip, since I've already featured The Aviator in my favorite actors post, but once you watch it I think you'll see why it was so inscapable, and why Cate earned so much well-deserved praise.

2. Audrey Hepburn
This choice should come as absolutely no shock to anyone who's actually met me. After all, my well-worn Breakfast at Tiffany's purse is basically my security blanket, and the very detailed Audrey Hepburn Halloween costume I wore in '06 famously (and by famously I mean my one friend and I still talk about it) left my high school Film Studies teacher speechless. It's gotten to the point where I've been accused of deliberately inviting comparisons. Well you know what, I'll take any I can get because Audrey Hepburn isn't just one of my favorite actresses, she's also kind of my idol.

I suppose I love Audrey for all the same reasons most people do: her astounding class, charm and vivaciousness. She brought such an incredible energy to all her films, and her screen presence is undeniable. It may not be very original for me to say, and it may make me sound about 30 years older, but there simply aren't any actresses like her today.

Now, I love Breakfast at Tiffany's as much as the next person (well, as much as the next teenage girl is probably more accurate) but I'm going to plug her Oscar-winning role in Roman Holiday. Gregory Peck is hands down her best onscreen match, and their chemistry is already apparent in this famous scene. (My buddy Nicolas Cage decided to rip off this iconic, impromtu bit in National Treasure 2. A part of me wished his hand really would get bitten off every time I saw that trailer.)

Oh and sorry for the subtitles.

3. Kate Winslet
If you'll recall from one of my previous ancedotes, Titanic nearly ruined Leonardo DiCaprio for me. Somehow, this was never the case with Kate Winslet. In fact, I remember secretly wishing I were as glamorous as Rose back in the fifth grade, when an especially colorful barrette was considered high fashion. (Catholic school nuns aren't the religious - no pun intended - Cosmpolitan readers you'd suspect them to be.) I even took the time to learn the name of the young actress headlining that monster of a movie, something I usually never cared enough to do back then. So while it took a couple years before I truly became a fan of hers, Kate and I have always been on good terms.

I remember reading a review of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind when it was first released that basically sums up why she's so great. I'm paraphrasing, but the reviewer said that her character, the ever-eccentric Clementine, felt like someone you could run into on the street on any given day. That's the wonderful unifying element to all of Kate's diverse performances: no matter the quirks or craziness (and I think anyone who's seen the aforementioned movie can agree that Clementine's pretty out-there), her characters are so remarkably authentic that you feel like you already know them.

I could post a clip from Eternal Sunshine, Sense and Sensibility, Little Children or one of her other fantastic roles, but I recently got into Ricky Gervais's brilliant celebrity satire Extras and, well, after watching this it's basically impossible not to love her. (Brief scene set-up: Kate attempted to give Maggie some tips on talking dirty over the phone with her new boyfriend, and has come to see how it went.)