Ode to Nicolas Cage

Before I start things off here, I'd like to make an amendment to my latest post.  Having just watched Primal Fear (an utterly amazing movie), Edward Norton definitely needs to be included in my list of favorite actors.  I don't really know what to say about him, other than he's brilliant.  Oh and that it's an absolute crime that he lost the Oscar for Primal Fear to Cuba Gooding, Jr. in Jerry Maguire.  Really Academy, that's what you went with?

Now, I know I promised a companion list in this past post, and I have every intention of keeping my word.  Just not right now.

Since I'm going on vacation tomorrow (you guys will sadly have to make due without me until the 26th) and have limited time as it is, I thought I'd post something I actually wrote a few days before my first day of college.

Don't ask me why, because I have absolutely no idea as to the logic behind it, but I had a strange craving to write poetry at the time.  Since I'm incapable of writing any particularly profound or serious poems, I figured I'd stick to what I know: movies, or, more specifically, my hatred of Nicolas Cage.

At the encouragement of a few friends (one of our bonds is a mutual loathing of this so-called actor), I give you my aptly named Ode to Nicolas Cage:

Dear Mr. Cage or, if I may, Nic,

You have an uncanny knack of making me sick.

"Wooden" best describes your horrendous acting.

Would a little emotion be that exacting?

Not many claim a more dismal resume than you.

Ghost Rider and Con-Air, to name just a few.

I really wonder sometimes how you get work.

Have all the studio heads gone completely berserk?

The conflicts in Darfur, Israel and Baghdad

Are all tragedies - just horribly sad.

Yet nothing sends me into a greater rage

Than the phrase "Oscar winner Nicolas Cage."

(I also have to mention that the photo I used was originally attached to the headline "Nicolas Cage's Success Proves There Is No God."  It's comforting to know I'm not alone.)