Overhead on the Metro, Transformers Edition

Today, in the midst of one of the most frustrating Metro rides of my life, I eavesdropped on a conversation that both destroyed and restored my faith in teenage boys. As you may have guessed, it concerned Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, the latest Michael Bay fiasco that took $201 million in its first five days. Sadly, I'd gotten used to boys automatically dubbing it the best movie ever, but then I heard this exchange. I was astonished to find one boy voicing my exact (and extremely negative) opinion* to his enthusiastic friend. Don't worry though, his assclown buddy more than balances out the hope I gleamed from this:

Boy #1 (who will henceforth be referred to as "common sense"): ...maybe catch a movie on the way back. Just not Transformers 2, 'cause that was crap.

Boy #2 (who will henceforth be referred to as "fuckface"): Dude don't say that! I really wanna see it!

Common Sense: Well I guess if you go in with really low expectations, you'll like it.

Fuckface: Okay, but it's got Megan Fox, so it can't be that bad.

Common Sense: C'mon man, you need to have a certain amount of...I don't know, talent?

Fuckface: Whatever, dude. It's got Megan Fox and robots beating the shit out of each other. Plus the first one was amazing.

Common Sense: If these train doors were open, I would push you out right now. It's people like you that keep Michael Bay in business.

Fuckface: I don't even know who the fuck that is. Besides, okay, so I read that all the critics, like, hate it, right?

Common Sense: Yes, I am one of those critics.

Fuckface: Right, but all the normal people -- like me -- and not the elitists...well, no, you're not elite, but all the average people thought it was alright. And there are way more of us than there are of you.

At this point, my memory of the conversation ends. I can't decide if either: a) common sense had to sadly acknowledge that fuckface was right -- there are many more idiots like him than there are "elitists," b) I withdrew my attention to suppress laughter over fuckface's complete misunderstanding of the word "elitist" or c) I had to stop myself from slapping fuckface. Either way, that was it. I decided to share it because it actually perfectly sums up Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. As much as common sense tells us it's crap, there are plenty of fuckfaces that love explosions and hot, stupid girls. So many, in fact, that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen almost broke The Dark Knight's opening box office. Yep, Heath Ledger's iconic (not really) last performance was almost overshadowed by a robot named Bumblebee.

You'd think I'd be more depressed by this, but with only two more weeks 'til (500) Days of Summer, nothing's going to get me down. Speaking of which, watch the trailer right now if you haven't already. It looks a lot like Annie Hall, only without the annoying presence of Woody Allen. (Translation: incredible!)

Before you say it's too indie, I present two facts: it has the never-too-much-anything-except-awesome Joe G-L and features a Hall & Oates song in its trailer. So shut up.

*Disclaimer: Though I have sat through Transformers, I haven't actually seen Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I know it's a little unfair for me to bash a movie I haven't even watched, but I feel like there are certain movies that are so awful, you get a free ride. I mean, c'mon, how many people saw Gigli? That doesn't stop the other 324901740917234 non-viewers from making fun of it.