The Emmy Ballot of Champions, Part 2

Since the actual Emmy nominations come out in, oh, two days, I thought I should finally get around to that part two I promised so long ago. The reason I put it off so long was that I realized something quickly after starting it: I have no clue what I'm talking about. Supporting actors are easier because there are lots of shows with strong ensembles or that you mainly watch for one actor (like NPH -- the 09 Emmy host! Someone finally listened to me). But lead actors are harder. I mean, honestly, does anyone watch one of the female-centric comedies not starring Tina Fey?

Some of these choices are subsequently going to be a little ridiculous and desperate, but I do have one or two pet causes that need to be represented. So let's get down to it.

BEST LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA

Jon Hamm - Mad Men

Did you really expect me to ignore Jon Hamm after my already shameless display of Mad Men love? (Don't worry, there's still more coming.) As usual, Don Draper continued to blow me away anytime he said anything, and puzzle me to no end. The awesome thing about this character is that you can think he's a loathsome womanizer -- and he is -- but you can also find yourself doing fist pumps when he says things like, "I don't have a contact" (just typing it gets me excited). The California stuff this past season could have easily gone awry, but Hamm predictably made it bizarrely fascinating. Damn him and his lethal combination of genuine talent, good looks and - gasp! - a sense of humor.

Bryan Cranston - Breaking Bad

This is one of those cop-out choices I mentioned. I've only seen the first three episodes of Breaking Bad, so I'm in absolutely no position to campaign for Cranston. But I liked those episodes, and have an undying loyalty towards AMC for airing Mad Men and movies like Commando, so why not? His cancer clearly progressed this season, so there was probably some dramatic stuff going down, which I'd imagine he handled well. I'll get back to you next month, when I swear I'm going to catch up with this show. (Along with about five others. Oy vey.)

BEST LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA

January Jones - Mad Men

Okay, this really is it. John Slattery isn't going to pop up unexpectedly, I swear. As much as I truly believe that Hamm, Hendricks and Moss deserve nods, this was an incredible season for Jones. MM creator Matthew Weiner (that brilliant, brilliant man) said it best: where season one Betty was a docile child, season two Betty was a rebellious teenager. Don's infidelity, boozing and overall neglect finally got to her and we got some pretty surprising moments from suburbia's Grace Kelly. Like, for instance, the scene following this screenshot. As the Ashleys from Recess would say: scandalous!

Glenn Close - Damages

I have not seen a single episode of Damages. Not even a minute of one. But Glenn Close is awesome, and somehow did not get an Oscar for Dangerous Liaisons. Hence, she is included.

So...how about that bunny scene in Fatal Attraction? Pretty freaky, huh? Michael Douglas is kind of a jerk in that movie, though. Everyone seems to forget that since she's so batshit crazy. What do you think that says about --

Oh thank god. I've filled up enough space to stop babbling.

BEST LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY

Steve Carell - The Office

This man does not have an Emmy. To borrow a phrase from Gay Perry, how in pluperfect hell is that possible? Though the last two seasons of The Office have been questionable, Steve Carell has never once slipped. He continues to deliver as Michael Scott, whose unbelievable social ineptitude is matched only by his surprising humanity. Michael is probably the toughest character to play not only on The Office but most current sitcoms, yet the Emmys have overlooked Carell's genius in favor of Ricky Gervais and Alec Baldwin. I won't argue that Gervais isn't also astoundingly uncomfortable in Extras, but I'm pretty freakin' sick of the fawning over Baldwin. He's good on 30 Rock, but honestly, he's not a god. Steve Carell, on the other hand, just might be.

Lee Pace - Pushing Daisies

Oh, Lee Pace. What am I going to do without you? While the Pushing Daisies supporting cast is hilarious (see part 1), you stand for everything that is adorable, endearing and sweet about the show. There's no way to make this not sound cheesy, so I'm just going for it: you are its heart. And I love you for that, as well as so many other things. Including but not limited to that time you dressed as a cowboy.

Zach Braff - Scrubs

After the travesty that was season seven of Scrubs, I was relieved that they got another shot to end things right. Still, I was skeptical that the show could regain the greatness that has made its reruns a staple of Comedy Central. But boy did it ever. The season ender (which is the last episode of the show for me) was perfection. And while we have to thank Sarah Chalke, Donald Faison, Judy Reyes, John C. McGinley, Neil Flynn, Ken Jenkins and Bill Lawrence (whew!) for that, Zach Braff is and always has been the show's strongest player. His willingness to be the butt of every joke and complete abandon when it comes to JD's fantasies make him one of sitcoms' most likeable stars. It's kinda ridiculous that he's only been nominated once for this show. Emmy people, fix that. It's the only way we'll get him to keep doing comedy and stop doing Garden State offshoots. You won't like him when he's indie.

BEST LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY

Tina Fey - 30 Rock

I'm not even going to put another BS candidate in here to beef up the category. This is Tina Fey's slot, and it's just plain silly to argue with her over it. Besides, how can you begrudge her a nod? She gave us so much -- Liz's sex line commercial, an inspired Muppet impression and the return of jury duty-evading Princess Leia. On top of that, she brought Jon Hamm on for a three episode arc. As you can imagine, my poor brain is still recovering from the levels of awesomeness in those installments, especially those in "The Bubble."

The Quintessential College Movies That Aren't Really about College

There are some things you just can't avoid in college.  While beer pong and The Dave Matthews Band are probably the most inescapable, I've realized that there are even certain movies you're bound to end up watching at some point during those four years.  Since my penchant for lists must be clear by now, follow me as I discuss the most unavoidable (for better or worse) college movies.

1.  Fight Club (1999)

Despite the fact that Fight Club's most ardent fans are probably those in their mid- to late-teens, it is actually possible to avoid seeing this in high school.  In fact, after my first time watching it (in the midst of my senior year), I had a pretty hard time finding someone to discuss it with.  But once your failure to see it becomes known on a college campus, you might go one more hour without this apparent sin being rectified.  So why is it so popular?  The fact that it is arguably Brad Pitt's best role (and that he's shirtless and buff for a good deal of it) has a lot to do with it.  Ed Norton also has a pretty big collegiate following.  But it's probably that huge WTF? ending that makes watching it, often more than once, such a necessity.  

2.  Garden State (2004)

Who would've thought that Scrubs's most cheerful manboy, Dr. John Dorian, had so many inner demons?  Certainly not most of Zach Braff's pre-established fans.  The sheer surprise at his oh-so-artsy tribute to New Jersey might explain some of the interest it it, but really we all know that the soundtrack is what made this movie so popular.  It almost single-handedly launched the career of The Shins and made "Such Great Heights" a new favorite song of teens and countless commercials alike.

3.  Almost Famous (2000)

I was most surprised to discover that this was such a college must-see, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.  First and foremost, it pays homage to '70s rock 'n roll, a genre rivaled perhaps only by the bro music of Jack Johnson and Co. as the most preferred of college students.  Secondly, it laces this music into a sweet coming-of-age tale featuring a blend of wonderful under-the-radar actors and NBC's comedy line-up (including Rainn Wilson as a Rolling Stone editor.  If you didn't notice it the first time, rewatch it!  Trust me, seeing Dwight Schrute in a curly '70s fro and equally amusing outfit is so worth it).  You really have to wonder why Kate Hudson doesn't make movies like this anymore...  

  

4.  Pulp Fiction (1994)

This one's kind of a no-brainer.  It's got cult figure Samuel L.  "Motherfucking Snakes" Jackson as the ultimate badass, paired with the quirky choice of John "Grease Lightening" Travolta in one crazy bloody (hot? tranny?) mess of a movie.  The dialogue is offbeat, the sequences memorable, and structure as non-linear as you can get, making it the perfect companion to the equally offbeat, memorable (and regarding our recollections of some particularly inebriated nights, non-linear) college experience.

      

5.  At Least Two "Classic" Will Ferrell Comedies  

You're bound to get introduced to a few new comedians while at college, but it would seem that Will Ferrell is the most universal fail-safe.  Which is why I think it's safe to say you'll have to watch not just one, but two (or, depending on the crowd, closer to twenty-two) of his movies.  It's a bit unfair to call Wedding Crashers a Will Ferrell movie, considering he's barely in it, so I'd bet that those two choices are going to be the middle-aged, contemporary retelling of Animal House, Old School, and what is probably Ferrell's Citizen Kane, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.  If you're looking for a little-seen toned-down Ferrell though (contrary to popular belief, it does exist), definitely check out Stranger Than Fiction, or Dick for all you history nerds out there (despite its X-rated title, it's a Watergate spoof, with Ferrell as Bob Woodward).