Observation: British People Like Their Movies Crushingly Depressing

Yesterday in film class, my professor (who vaguely resembles Susan Sarandon) remarked, "I think you'll find that a lot of the movies we watch will have sort of...downbeat endings."

No shit. This was right after watching Room at the Top, which closed on the protagonist in a trapped marriage and so broken down that he was literally crying. The week before gave us Brief Encounter, another unbelievably tragic romance that almost brought me to tears (less than 10 movies have actually made me cry). The week before that was a movie theater trip to Fish Tank, a social realist movie in which absolutely nothing good happens. Not one damn marginally happy moment. 

Oh, and guess what else we're watching towards the end of class. Atonement. You know, that kinda emotionally draining movie about war-torn lovers? 

I don't mean to sound bitter about this; all of these movies have been great, even outstanding. The amount of depressing shit going on in them is just a tad bit overwhelming. To illustrate this feeling, I present a checklist of all the horrible things I've witnessed in the four mentioned movies, and Dirty Pretty Things, another sad British movie I watched outside of class.

Suicide or Suicide Attempt: BE, RATT

Rape: DPT

Kidnapping: FT

Doomed Lovers: A, BE, DPT, FT, RATT

Mugging: FT

Character Gets Beat Up or Severely Injured: A, FT, RATT

Botched Surgeries: DPT

Shitty Living Conditions: DPT, FT, RATT

The Song "Life's a Bitch": FT

Character Judged Because of Class: A, RATT

Massive Lies: A, BE, DPT, RATT

Annoying Naive Girl Who Ruins Everything: A, RATT

Betrayal of a Family Member or Spouse: A, BE, FT

Woman Abandoned by Her Two-Timing Lover: FT, RATT

General Despair: A, BE, DPT, FT, RATT

Looks like Fish Tank and Room at the Top take the cake in terms of abundance of soul-sucking material. Not surprising, considering that The New York Times called Room at the Top "basically cheerless and somber" upon its release and the London Times noted Fish Tank's "bleak worldview where hard-knock women and sado-masochistic desires collide." You know you're getting a not-so-sunny movie when "sado-masochistic desires" are part of the plot outline.

I'm sure you're desperate to soak up as much misery as possible, and what kind of blogger would I be if I didn't provide you with a taste of these two epically tragic British movies? Here's Fish Tank:

And that's actually all you're getting. No Room at the Top trailer on YouTube. Boo Internet, and your bias against old movies.

But next time you're in a fantastic, nothing's-gonna-get-me-down mood and need something that will completely destroy your will to live, why not give a nice British drama a try?