Saturday, June 7, 2008

A Eulogy for the MTV Movie Awards

It's pretty hard to describe the atrocity that was the 2008 MTV Movie Awards.  So much of it was awkward, unfunny, and/or in poor taste that it's really difficult to conclusively pinpoint what went wrong. 

I'll give it a try.

Before I get into this analysis, let me provide a bit of a disclaimer: I fully acknowledge that this award show is not something to be taken seriously.  The best movies and actors from that year never win; someone like Daniel Day-Lewis doesn't stand a chance in hell against Johnny Depp and Shia LaBeouf.  Honestly, these latter teen favorites could star in a two-minute movie of themselves singing "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" and still triumph.  Yet there was a time when you could at least have fun watching them pass out the golden popcorn.  Sadly, it seems even the entertainment aspect of the show has finally gasped its last breath.

The first indication of this tragic truth came in the choice of Mike Myers as the host.  If there was any doubt that he has completely lost his comedic touch, that was laid to rest during his excruciating hosting gig.  When not shamelessly promoting The Love Guru, he managed to make nearly every introduction uncomfortably unfunny and sucked any bit of hilarity out of his pre-filmed shorts (which were not, in one more sign of grave error, the trademark movie parodies that used to provide most of the show's comedy but spotlights on behind-the-scenes players of Myers' own design).  Even the surprise return of his beloved Wayne's World skit (Dana Carvey was resurrected for the bit) wasn't what it should have been.  Myers inexplicably rushed through the sketch, clumsily throwing in recycled material along the way.  If the man can't even play Wayne Campbell, the character that got him started, anymore, clearly his time is over.

The show's next terrible mistake was an appallingly poorly executed introduction to the Best Summer Movie So Far award.  James Franco and Seth Rogen were the presenters and, to promote their stoner caper Pineapple Express, proceeded to pull out a bag of fake weed, which they then "smoked."  Normally, this would have been at least somewhat amusing, but to appease the FCC the cameras pulled back into the farthest audience ranks, prompting many (myself included) to wonder why they even planned this bit.  However, it became downright distasteful when the camera went to Robert Downey, Jr. for a reaction shot.  The poor guy registered profound confusion at this spotlight and, worse still, had to go accept the award with Jon Favreau for Iron Man shortly thereafter.  Was it really necessary to take a potshot at such a genuinely talented actor who has finally overcome his struggle with substance abuse?  C'mon, MTV, you've got to have a little more class than that.  

Downey was, however, one of the show's few bright spots.  When not gracefully handling that disgusting druggie joke, he managed to be absolutely hilarious in a "viral video" with his Tropic Thunder co-stars Ben Stiller and Jack Black.  Here, MTV finally exhibited some exceptional parodying of the trio that was, though gutsy, not offensive.  You can check it out for yourself here:

Other moments of note, due to sheer awfulness: Best Kiss goes to Step Up 2 the Streets and Best Fight goes to Never Back Down.  I was unaware that anyone had even seen these movies.  I guess you should never underestimate the power of one devoted fan, when given unlimited voting.  Maybe that's why Superbad left with absolutely nothing.  I mean, seriously?  Its leads lose Best Male Performance to Will Smith in I Am Legend??  It loses Best Movie to Transformers???  The latter just proves what I have long suspected: Michael Bay is the Antichrist.

All snide remarks aside, it's sad to see an awards show that was once genuinely entertaining (a true rarity) slip into such decline.  I may not be speaking for everyone here, but I used to look forward to the MTV Movie Awards, back when the show's best parody actually used to be a source of debate.  Now, however, we have a show that is neither funny nor credible, but rather a horrible trainwreck that has become meaningless to the fans it supposedly represents. 

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