Best Week Ever? Well, Parts of It...

Normally, I wouldn't write extensively about three unrelated, basic entertainment news blurbs from a random week.  Half the time it's stuff that everyone else already knows and it can get really boring, really quickly.  Heck, I'm boring myself writing this.  But the movie news from the past few days produced so many extreme mood swings in me that I felt it necessary to discuss the latest at least for my own peace of mind, if not also for the benefit of my (5) readers.  So strap yourselves in guys, because you're in for one crazy emotional roller coaster of a current events analysis (and yes, I just used the term "emotional roller coaster").

I'll start with the news that just plain brightened my day.  It looks like the Arrested Development movie, after months of hearsay, is finally official.  Jeffrey Tambor essentially confirmed it on Saturday at the Hellboy 2 premiere, following an earlier MTV interview with Jason Bateman in which the former Michael Bluth said that the only thing holding back production was money.  I know a lot of AD fanatics are skeptical about adapting the series into a film, but Bateman stressed in his interview that Mitchell Hurwitz's script was made quite specifically for a movie, not consecutive TV episodes.  And dammit, I just can't help rejoicing that the Bluths will be together again.  Now as for those stingy producers, to quote Gob: COME ON!

One of imdb's daily links was my next source of happiness.  I'm speaking, of course, of the premiere of the Quantum of Solace trailer.  In true Bond fashion, it was highly cryptic, and highly exciting.  So many things ran through my head as I was watching it (Jeez, is Bond going full-out rogue?  And what's he doing in an arid valley with a big-ass gun?  Oh look, his poker buddy's back!) yet I couldn't even begin to guess what will actually take place.  Kudos to those trailer makers, because I'm officially pumped.  (For any unfortunate souls out there who missed it, here you go.)

Now onto the news that almost completely nullified my excitement over the last two reports (brace yourselves, here comes the full-on rant): Judd Apatow, in his infinite wisdom, is producing a movie that will star Sacha Baron Cohen (better known as Borat) and Will Ferrell as Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, respectively.  All I can say to that is WHAT THE HELL?!  Honestly, were the casting people trying to piss off Sherlock Holmes fans?  Because if so, congratulations, I don't think there are any two actors (and I'm using the term loosely here) that could be worse for the parts.  I was already terrified that Guy Ritchie was going to cast Jason Statham as Holmes in his own project, but at this point I'll welcome that criminally-inclined pretty boy with open arms over Talladega Nights 2.

Granted, Cohen could at least look a little like Holmes, but this beloved character is known for his wit and subtle genius.  I don't think even the most extreme Cohen fan could argue that the man is subtle.  And Will Ferrell??  That choice is even more infuriating.  He hasn't had a decent movie (or a different character) since Stranger Than Fiction and, hate to say it, but from the looks of Step Brothers, it doesn't look like he'll be making a glorious comeback anytime soon.  True, he was surprisingly calm in Fiction, but having another outrageous comedian competing alongside him for audience attention is only going to make him more irritating and obnoxious.

Poor, poor Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  Thank goodness he isn't alive to see this.  Unfortunately, I am, so excuse me while I go cry.