The Obligatory [Post-]Oscar Post

I apologize that this post is so late, everyone. I know I probably sound extremely dated by this point, but on the off chance that you're reading this and either: a) didn't see the Oscars, b) did but still haven't tired from the coverage or c) specifically asked about my post-Oscars post (hey Jen!), here is my recap of the 81st Annual Academy Awards.

Overall impression? Yawn. Don't get me wrong, I was really happy with most of the wins, but it was all so predictable. You know it's a dull show when the only major upset is in the Best Foreign Language Film category. 

So let's get to the high points, shall we? First and foremost, the Academy wisely decided not to turn Kate Winslet into the new Martin Scorsese and gave her a damn Oscar. I shrieked a little when it happened, not gonna lie. I also thought her speech was great, and very endearing. Whose heart didn't melt when she reacted to her dad's whistle? Or when she said "Well it's not a shampoo bottle now"? I guess her supposedly dramatic Golden Globes speech didn't hurt her in the least, so all you critical (read: stuffy and heartless) British journalists can shove it. 

I'm happy to say I was pleasantly surprised by Judd Apatow's comedy bit with Seth Rogen and James Franco. Personally I thought Pineapple Express was a disappointment, but this sketch was pretty hilarious. It's hard to pick a favorite part; there's the two stoners laughing hysterically at The Reader, Franco confusing Robert Downey Jr. with Barack Obama and even Saving Private Ryan director of photography Janusz Kaminski hanging out/cuddling with the pair. But I'd probably go with the moment where James Franco watches himself in Milk.  

Speaking of Milk, how about screenwriter Dustin Lance Black's speech? Call me a sap, but I thought that was the most touching Oscar speech I've ever heard. I almost cried, and this is coming from a person who has probably shed a tear at no more than 10 movies in her lifetime. The Academy has certainly come a long way since 2005, when it didn't have the guts to give the Best Picture Oscar to Brokeback Mountain.

I was also really happy with the Slumdog (almost) sweep. I know the backlash against it is now in full swing, but I still freakin' love that movie. If nothing else, the Oscars satisfied my insatiable need to see the cast and Danny Boyle at all times. They're the happiest people on earth (for good reason), and seeing them you just can't help but smile too. My only question is where was the exact replication of the Bollywood dance from the credits?

Because, let's be honest, it would have been a gajillion times better than that ode to the musical that Hugh Jackman and Beyonce led. There were way too many songs in there, which caused a lot of classics to get stiffed about five bars. Plus the performers really weren't that impressive. Boring maybe, but not impressive. If Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron are the ones bringing the musical back, as Jackman declared, then I want no part of this revival.

Lastly, even though the Academy fulfilled my Kate Winslet and Slumdog Millionaire requests and even though I knew this was coming, it pains me that The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is now an Oscar winner. The inevitable proclamations on the DVD cover are likely to turn me into Bruce Banner, so please be warned and hide any copies once they're released.

A Eulogy for the MTV Movie Awards

It's pretty hard to describe the atrocity that was the 2008 MTV Movie Awards.  So much of it was awkward, unfunny, and/or in poor taste that it's really difficult to conclusively pinpoint what went wrong. 

I'll give it a try.

Before I get into this analysis, let me provide a bit of a disclaimer: I fully acknowledge that this award show is not something to be taken seriously.  The best movies and actors from that year never win; someone like Daniel Day-Lewis doesn't stand a chance in hell against Johnny Depp and Shia LaBeouf.  Honestly, these latter teen favorites could star in a two-minute movie of themselves singing "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" and still triumph.  Yet there was a time when you could at least have fun watching them pass out the golden popcorn.  Sadly, it seems even the entertainment aspect of the show has finally gasped its last breath.

The first indication of this tragic truth came in the choice of Mike Myers as the host.  If there was any doubt that he has completely lost his comedic touch, that was laid to rest during his excruciating hosting gig.  When not shamelessly promoting The Love Guru, he managed to make nearly every introduction uncomfortably unfunny and sucked any bit of hilarity out of his pre-filmed shorts (which were not, in one more sign of grave error, the trademark movie parodies that used to provide most of the show's comedy but spotlights on behind-the-scenes players of Myers' own design).  Even the surprise return of his beloved Wayne's World skit (Dana Carvey was resurrected for the bit) wasn't what it should have been.  Myers inexplicably rushed through the sketch, clumsily throwing in recycled material along the way.  If the man can't even play Wayne Campbell, the character that got him started, anymore, clearly his time is over.

The show's next terrible mistake was an appallingly poorly executed introduction to the Best Summer Movie So Far award.  James Franco and Seth Rogen were the presenters and, to promote their stoner caper Pineapple Express, proceeded to pull out a bag of fake weed, which they then "smoked."  Normally, this would have been at least somewhat amusing, but to appease the FCC the cameras pulled back into the farthest audience ranks, prompting many (myself included) to wonder why they even planned this bit.  However, it became downright distasteful when the camera went to Robert Downey, Jr. for a reaction shot.  The poor guy registered profound confusion at this spotlight and, worse still, had to go accept the award with Jon Favreau for Iron Man shortly thereafter.  Was it really necessary to take a potshot at such a genuinely talented actor who has finally overcome his struggle with substance abuse?  C'mon, MTV, you've got to have a little more class than that.  

Downey was, however, one of the show's few bright spots.  When not gracefully handling that disgusting druggie joke, he managed to be absolutely hilarious in a "viral video" with his Tropic Thunder co-stars Ben Stiller and Jack Black.  Here, MTV finally exhibited some exceptional parodying of the trio that was, though gutsy, not offensive.  You can check it out for yourself here:

Jack Black, Ben Stiller & Robert Downey, Jr. at 2008 MTV Movie Awards from Robert Downey Jr

Other moments of note, due to sheer awfulness: Best Kiss goes to Step Up 2 the Streets and Best Fight goes to Never Back Down.  I was unaware that anyone had even seen these movies.  I guess you should never underestimate the power of one devoted fan, when given unlimited voting.  Maybe that's why Superbad left with absolutely nothing.  I mean, seriously?  Its leads lose Best Male Performance to Will Smith in I Am Legend??  It loses Best Movie to Transformers???  The latter just proves what I have long suspected: Michael Bay is the Antichrist.

All snide remarks aside, it's sad to see an awards show that was once genuinely entertaining (a true rarity) slip into such decline.  I may not be speaking for everyone here, but I used to look forward to the MTV Movie Awards, back when the show's best parody actually used to be a source of debate.  Now, however, we have a show that is neither funny nor credible, but rather a horrible trainwreck that has become meaningless to the fans it supposedly represents. 

Comic Book Heroes, Steve Carell, and Shakespeare's Resurrection, Part 2

You didn't think I'd keep you waiting that long, did you?  Enjoy the rest of the list, and the first ever KMDB attached video!

3.  Get Smart (06/20)

Maybe it's just because, as a diehard fan of The Office, I adore Steve Carell (Alan Arkin is pretty cool, too).  Regardless, I think this may end up being the best comedy of the summer (since really, it only has two serious competitors, both of which appear on this list).  The original TV show is a little before my time, and I haven't managed to watch any reruns or DVD seasons, so I can't comment on the validity of the casting choices and premise.  If it's anything like Peter Sellers' brilliant Pink Panther series though, which I strongly suspect it is, we're in for one hilarious spy spoof.

4.  The Dark Knight (07/18)

Even before Heath Ledger's tragic and shocking demise, I remember seeing this trailer and getting goosebumps.  Sure, Ledger had credibility as an actor, but this I simply could not believe.  As I became absorbed in his eerie voiceover and creepy face paint, I had to keep reminding myself that this was the Australian heartthrob who won the unconditional love of my generation's female audience by singing a Four Seasons song with a marching band.  It was pretty damn near impossible to maintain this perspective, as I'm sure you all know.  By the trailer's end (and after getting over my initial stunned paralysis), I had already made a mental note of July 18th on my calendar.  You can imagine my devastation, then, when I later learned that I'd be overseas during its release (as much as I'm looking forward to Paris).  So if you happen to see a crazed girl with luggage dashing through the movie theater on, say, the 27th or so, don't forget to say hi.

5.  Hamlet 2 (08/27 - limited)

This comedy features a song called "Rock Me, Sexy Jesus" and is, indeed, about a sequel to what is perhaps Shakespeare's most famous tragedy (written by a high school drama teacher).  Need I say more?

Honorable Mention: Pineapple Express (08/08)

I have to admit, when I saw the early ads for the latest Judd Apatow project (though he only produces this one; in fact, he hasn't directed anything since Knocked Up, contrary to what almost every comedy since then has led us to believe) my mild curiosity was overcome by a strong skepticism.  However, if my recent funnyordie.com binges have taught me anything, it's that James Franco is one hilarious guy.  Check out the first episode of his "Acting with James Franco" series for evidence: