The Obligatory [Post-]Oscar Post

I apologize that this post is so late, everyone. I know I probably sound extremely dated by this point, but on the off chance that you're reading this and either: a) didn't see the Oscars, b) did but still haven't tired from the coverage or c) specifically asked about my post-Oscars post (hey Jen!), here is my recap of the 81st Annual Academy Awards.

Overall impression? Yawn. Don't get me wrong, I was really happy with most of the wins, but it was all so predictable. You know it's a dull show when the only major upset is in the Best Foreign Language Film category. 

So let's get to the high points, shall we? First and foremost, the Academy wisely decided not to turn Kate Winslet into the new Martin Scorsese and gave her a damn Oscar. I shrieked a little when it happened, not gonna lie. I also thought her speech was great, and very endearing. Whose heart didn't melt when she reacted to her dad's whistle? Or when she said "Well it's not a shampoo bottle now"? I guess her supposedly dramatic Golden Globes speech didn't hurt her in the least, so all you critical (read: stuffy and heartless) British journalists can shove it. 

I'm happy to say I was pleasantly surprised by Judd Apatow's comedy bit with Seth Rogen and James Franco. Personally I thought Pineapple Express was a disappointment, but this sketch was pretty hilarious. It's hard to pick a favorite part; there's the two stoners laughing hysterically at The Reader, Franco confusing Robert Downey Jr. with Barack Obama and even Saving Private Ryan director of photography Janusz Kaminski hanging out/cuddling with the pair. But I'd probably go with the moment where James Franco watches himself in Milk.  

Speaking of Milk, how about screenwriter Dustin Lance Black's speech? Call me a sap, but I thought that was the most touching Oscar speech I've ever heard. I almost cried, and this is coming from a person who has probably shed a tear at no more than 10 movies in her lifetime. The Academy has certainly come a long way since 2005, when it didn't have the guts to give the Best Picture Oscar to Brokeback Mountain.

I was also really happy with the Slumdog (almost) sweep. I know the backlash against it is now in full swing, but I still freakin' love that movie. If nothing else, the Oscars satisfied my insatiable need to see the cast and Danny Boyle at all times. They're the happiest people on earth (for good reason), and seeing them you just can't help but smile too. My only question is where was the exact replication of the Bollywood dance from the credits?

Because, let's be honest, it would have been a gajillion times better than that ode to the musical that Hugh Jackman and Beyonce led. There were way too many songs in there, which caused a lot of classics to get stiffed about five bars. Plus the performers really weren't that impressive. Boring maybe, but not impressive. If Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron are the ones bringing the musical back, as Jackman declared, then I want no part of this revival.

Lastly, even though the Academy fulfilled my Kate Winslet and Slumdog Millionaire requests and even though I knew this was coming, it pains me that The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is now an Oscar winner. The inevitable proclamations on the DVD cover are likely to turn me into Bruce Banner, so please be warned and hide any copies once they're released.

The Obligatory [Pre-]Oscar Post

C’mon, you knew this was coming sooner or later. I blog about movies; you can’t expect me to snub the Oscars, even if they've snubbed the likes of Cary Grant and Stanley freakin' Kubrick.

*Deep breath* I digress. The Oscar nominations come out in just three more days and before they’re released, I wanted to share a sort of wishlist with all of you, and the Academy, who I’m sure bookmarked this blog long ago. Some of the items on here are, well, a little improbable but it's Martin Luther King Day and dammit, I have a dream!

I don't really know how I can top that horrible reference, so without further ado, I present my Oscar wishlist:

1. A complete Benjamin Button shut-out

Am I the only one who thought this movie was an absolute disaster? Almost anyone who’s seen it will say “It was a little too long…” but no one has the guts to speak the truth: it was crap. It pains me to admit this as a Cate Blanchett fanatic, but the characters (even hers) were bland and the story was a mess – one of the most superficial that I’ve ever seen (bet you thought that stupid backwards clock, or Hurricane Katrina tie-in, was going to go somewhere but nope sorry! We were too busy adding 43598743895 other underdeveloped and boring storylines to flesh that out). I will grant that the visuals were stunning, which is why I won’t get grumpy over an Art Direction win, but please for the love of God do not let this movie get a Best Picture nod (or even worse, win) over its far more deserving competitors. Which brings me to my second point…

2. Some Revolutionary Road love

First of all, let me say that I had to work to see this movie. I have no idea why the distributors decided to put a Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet movie in five theaters across the nation, but they did and it was pretty frustrating. It would be very easy for me to have some mild, irrational resentment towards Revolutionary Road because of the inconvenience, but I have none at all; I absolutely loved it. The movie was devastating and haunting, the questions it raised were complex and interesting and Kate and Leo gave two enthralling performances. So why oh why is it being almost completely overlooked? I truly believe it merits Best Picture and Best Director nods, but I can deal with those snubs, even though I’m seething that Benjamin Button will probably get both. It’s nothing sort of criminal, however, that Leo is almost certainly going to be ignored (yet again). If Brad “so dull I considered tearing my hair out to spice things up” Pitt gets the slot over Leo, I will be sorely disappointed. And by sorely disappointed, I mean I might punch a hole in a wall.

3. A nod for Robert Downey, Jr. in Tropic Thunder

Argue the movie’s weaknesses with me all you want, but Robert Downey, Jr. absolutely deserves a nomination for Tropic Thunder. What he pulled off was nothing sort of genius. A lesser actor would no doubt have inspired enormous public outrage, but he turned the role into one of the most hilarious in recent memory, and kept it controversy-free. He gave a quote to Entertainment Weekly in March of ’08 that pretty much sums the whole thing up (leave it to him to do everything right): “If [the part is] done right, it could be the type of role you called Peter Sellers to do 35 years ago. If you don’t do it right, we’re going to hell.” Robert, needless to say you are definitely not going to hell. (You're going to comedy heaven! High five, anyone?)

4. Slumdog Millionaire Best Picture win

Having seen all the major BP contenders, (excepting longshot The Wrestler), I’m officially pulling for Slumdog Millionaire. It’s not only one of the most inspiring movies I’ve seen in years, it’s just a wonderfully made film that deserves every one of its accolades. Now, I wouldn’t be outraged if Milk pulled an upset and took the prize, but Slumdog is still my number one and, from the way the awards season has been going, it may very well receive this honor. Lest you doubt its merit, I dare you to watch this and not hand over the award right away (if you haven't seen the movie, though, start it at about 1:07):

5. More Ricky Gervais

Let’s see: he was hilarious at the Emmys, hilarious at the Golden Globes and is generally a hilarious guy. It still mystifies me that Hugh Jackman and not Ricky is hosting the Oscars, but I’ll settle for another one of his amusing award presentations.

Oh right, and give Kate Winslet a damn Oscar!

Everybody Loves Gary and Other Random Hollywood Musings

In the increasingly divisive world of movies, I’ve discovered one universal truth: everyone loves Gary Oldman.  Seriously, even the people who don’t quite know who he is love him.  In my experience, the words “Gary Oldman” can’t be uttered in a sentence without “awesome,” “amazing” or “badass.”  No one hates him.  It isn’t like Shia LaBeouf where most people are just so happy for that goofy Even Stevens kid, or Philip Seymour Hoffman’s tiny but devoted cult of fans.  People young and old, male and female, with both excellent and questionable taste in movies adore this guy.  Were some freak with a passionate loathing for Mr. Oldman to actually emerge, I don’t see others being alarmed and offended as much as completely puzzled.  How can you hate someone so cool, talented, and sometimes even terrifying? 

Speaking of cool actors, I love Clive Owen.  The problem is I don’t always remember him.  By that I don’t mean I literally can’t place the name with the face, but rather I often forget about his existence.  See usually, I seek out a few movies by a certain actor after I’ve decided I like him or her.  But, except for Children of Men, every time I watched one of his movies, I thought “Hey, Clive Owen’s in this!” only after his face popped up on screen.  I really don’t understand this phenomenon; Clive’s so suave, tough and British (do you see why I was initially pissed that Daniel Craig and not Clive was the new Bond?).  If those traits aren’t memorable, what is?

Now for something topical.  The new Revolutionary Road trailer has to be the single most serious preview I’ve ever seen.  The music alone makes it unbelievably somber and foreboding, but this is one trailer where I can’t find a shred of silver lining in the clips.  The impression I’m getting is that, should you see this movie, expect to spend the rest of the day questioning your life’s happiness and alternatively sleeping and crying.  So can someone please tell me why I’m so excited for it?  Oh, right.  Leo and Kate and Sam Mendes.  In one movie.  Can I watch it now?  

Finally, why isn't Neil Patrick Harris in more movies? I've only seen Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and almost all of How I Met Your Mother, but already I can't get enough of him.  At least let him host the 2009 Emmys.  The show would be infinitely better than this year's nightmare.  'Cause you know, whenever Neil Patrick Harris feels like doing a soul-crushingly bad job at hosting, he is just awesome instead.  True story.

Audrey and Kate Plus...Cate

I have to say, it's good to be home and blogging once again. I could regale you with stories of France's insane The Dark Knight advertising (there was even a Dippin' Dots flavor) but I'll get right to the point: I have a long overdue promise to fulfill in the form of a favorite actresses post, and I'm here to make good on my word. The list is regrettably a bit shorter than my actors' post and for that I have to place some blame on the scarcity of interesting parts for women. (I'm not just being an indignant feminist: start thinking of some of the most memorable movie characters. Maybe 25% are women, am I right?) Those countless hack models posing as actresses haven't helped either (Jessica Alba, I'm looking in your direction). However, we can all take comfort in knowing that the movie world has/had these three wonderful women to help even out the imbalances.

1. Cate Blanchett
Sometimes I have to remind myself that Cate Blanchett is a mere human like the rest of us. She certainly seems like Wonder Woman when you consider her career. Conflicted teacher conducting an affair with a student? Check. Pregnant journalist amidst the sea's quirkiest crew? Check. One of the most legendary, revered actresses to ever live? Check. Bob Dylan? Check. I could go on forever, but the point is that, like a superhero, Cate makes impossible feats seem effortless and nothing's been able to stop her yet.

Perhaps the only thing as impressive as Cate's daunting talent is her amazing career savvy. While I can't say I've seen everything she's ever done, she's never been known to make a truly terrible movie. Heck, she even managed to get an Oscar nomination out of the supposedly weak Elizabeth: The Golden Age. On top of all of that, she's probably one of the most fearless actresses working today. A lot of women in the entertainment industry would shy away from taboo issues like inappropriate teacher-student relationships or think twice before seriously playing a man, but Cate thrives off these opportunities, giving us some of the most fascinating characters movies can offer.

I really wanted to avoid posting the following clip, since I've already featured The Aviator in my favorite actors post, but once you watch it I think you'll see why it was so inscapable, and why Cate earned so much well-deserved praise.

2. Audrey Hepburn
This choice should come as absolutely no shock to anyone who's actually met me. After all, my well-worn Breakfast at Tiffany's purse is basically my security blanket, and the very detailed Audrey Hepburn Halloween costume I wore in '06 famously (and by famously I mean my one friend and I still talk about it) left my high school Film Studies teacher speechless. It's gotten to the point where I've been accused of deliberately inviting comparisons. Well you know what, I'll take any I can get because Audrey Hepburn isn't just one of my favorite actresses, she's also kind of my idol.

I suppose I love Audrey for all the same reasons most people do: her astounding class, charm and vivaciousness. She brought such an incredible energy to all her films, and her screen presence is undeniable. It may not be very original for me to say, and it may make me sound about 30 years older, but there simply aren't any actresses like her today.

Now, I love Breakfast at Tiffany's as much as the next person (well, as much as the next teenage girl is probably more accurate) but I'm going to plug her Oscar-winning role in Roman Holiday. Gregory Peck is hands down her best onscreen match, and their chemistry is already apparent in this famous scene. (My buddy Nicolas Cage decided to rip off this iconic, impromtu bit in National Treasure 2. A part of me wished his hand really would get bitten off every time I saw that trailer.)

Oh and sorry for the subtitles.

3. Kate Winslet
If you'll recall from one of my previous ancedotes, Titanic nearly ruined Leonardo DiCaprio for me. Somehow, this was never the case with Kate Winslet. In fact, I remember secretly wishing I were as glamorous as Rose back in the fifth grade, when an especially colorful barrette was considered high fashion. (Catholic school nuns aren't the religious - no pun intended - Cosmpolitan readers you'd suspect them to be.) I even took the time to learn the name of the young actress headlining that monster of a movie, something I usually never cared enough to do back then. So while it took a couple years before I truly became a fan of hers, Kate and I have always been on good terms.

I remember reading a review of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind when it was first released that basically sums up why she's so great. I'm paraphrasing, but the reviewer said that her character, the ever-eccentric Clementine, felt like someone you could run into on the street on any given day. That's the wonderful unifying element to all of Kate's diverse performances: no matter the quirks or craziness (and I think anyone who's seen the aforementioned movie can agree that Clementine's pretty out-there), her characters are so remarkably authentic that you feel like you already know them.

I could post a clip from Eternal Sunshine, Sense and Sensibility, Little Children or one of her other fantastic roles, but I recently got into Ricky Gervais's brilliant celebrity satire Extras and, well, after watching this it's basically impossible not to love her. (Brief scene set-up: Kate attempted to give Maggie some tips on talking dirty over the phone with her new boyfriend, and has come to see how it went.)